Work

Adam and Eve
Work has always been a part of this earthly experience. Adam and Eve were commanded to "be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth" (Genesis 1:28). This commandment was given while they were in the garden, so they were to "subdue" the earth from the very beginning. When they were cast out of the garden they were to work also. "In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread" (Genesis 3:19). Since man was placed on the earth, we have been commanded to work.
Blessings of Family Work
Family work is something that most people wish they could just get rid of. This opportunity to work together on a common goal while doing tasks that don't require much thinking, allows from some great things to happen. While a family works, bonds can be strengthened and meaningful conversations can emerge. Working as a family lets us see our interdependence on each other and encourages us to sacrifice for one another. Insisting that children to help with family work helps them develop responsibility and a sense of self-worth. If they know that the work can't be completed without them, they will more willingly participate. And children learn to think of others as they do work for others rather than just making their own bed.

I know that family work is a blessing. That families and individuals are strengthened as they work together to make a happy home.

Counseling with you Spouse and Families

In class this week we were able to study the way the Prophet, his counselors, and the 12 apostles meet in counsel each week. This is the process they use.

• First, they gather together before the meeting starts and express their love for each other
• Next, they open the meeting in prayer to invite the Spirit to be with them
• Then, they discuss important matters and try to discern what the Lord would have them do. During this discussion, each member is given the opportunity to share what they think the Lord would want. They continue to discuss until they reach a consensus, or every agrees that this is what the Lord wants. If consensus is not reached, they address the topic another time.
• After that, they close with prayer. 
• Before they leave they have refreshments together and again bond together.

There are some other important aspects to this meeting.

• They meet in the Temple: a very sacred place
• They always meet at the same time: they have regular meetings that allow everyone to plan their schedules to be there
• They have an agenda: everyone will be able to prepare for what is going to be discussed

This form of counseling that the Prophets follow is an example of what should take place in our homes. We should have regular meetings where members will feel loved in expressing what they think the Lord would have the family or couple do. In our families we should seek to find what the Lord would have us do, for his plan is always better than anything we can come up with. Inviting the Spirit through prayer will help us discern what the Lord would have us do. Meeting in our homes (a sacred place), at the same time, with an agenda, will allow everyone to be present having prepared before hand. I know that if we follow the example of the prophets, our families will be blessed with direction from our Heavenly Father.

Family Crisis

Reuben Hill created a model to understand why families react differently to the same stress or crisis. His developed the ABCX model.

• A is the Actual event: what happened
• B is the Behavioral responses: resources the family has and uses to cope with the stress
• C is Cognitions: the way the family defines the stressful situation. 
• X is the total eXperience: everything that happened as a result and the outcomes of the event

The families that were able to overcome the crisis and return to the same level of happiness they were at before the event or to a higher level, were those families who used their resources and defined the event as a hardship but not something they couldn't overcome. 

For example two families, the Smith's and the Jones's, face the event of their fathers being laid off of work. The Actual event is the same for both families. Say the Smith's define this event as the end of the world and that their way of life is ending. None of the other family members seek to find work to help provide income. And they don't have very much money saved up for emergencies like these. Obviously the Smith's will struggle and do very poorly if their father doesn't find work quickly.
The Jones's, on the other hand, define the event as a hardship but they know it will pass. Every able family member decides to look for work to help the family through this hard time. They also have some money saved up to spend if necessary. The Jones's will do okay even if their father doesn't find work very quickly. Even though both the families had their fathers out of a job, the Jones's will do better in the long run because of the way they defined the event and because they used all their resources available to them.

The Divine Role of Mothers

I love all of these quotes about Mothers and their divine role in our Heavenly Father's plan.

Elder Cook: 

"No woman should ever feel the need to apologize or feel that her contribution is less significant because she is devoting her primary efforts to raising and nurturing children. Nothing could be more significant in our Father in Heaven’s plan."

President Hinckley: 

"Encouraged them to leave their employment and give their individual time to their children."

"The greatest job that any mother will ever do will be in nurturing, teaching, lifting, encouraging, and rearing her children in righteousness and truth. None other can adequately take her place."

"As the years pass, you will become increasingly grateful for that which you did in molding the lives of your children in the direction of righteousness and goodness, integrity and faith. That is most likely to happen if you can spend adequate time with them."

President Benson: 

"Mothers…are, or should be, the very heart and soul of the family. No more sacred word exists in secular or holy writ than that of mother. There is no more noble work than that of a good and God-fearing mother."

"But a mother's role is also God-ordained. Mothers are to conceive, to nourish, to love, and to train."

"The Lord clearly defined the roles of mothers and fathers in providing for and rearing a righteous posterity. In the beginning, Adam--not Eve--was instructed to earn the bread by the sweat of his brow. Contrary to conventional wisdom, a mother's calling is in the home, not in the market place."

"Mothers in Zion, your God-given roles are so vital to your own exaltation and to the salvation and exaltation of your family. A child needs a mother more than all the things money can buy. Spending time with your children is the greatest gift of all."

President Kimball: 

"Become a career woman in the greatest career on earth--that of homemaker, wife, and mother. It was never intended by the Lord that married women should compete with men in employment. They have a far greater and more important service to render."

"Her place is in the home, to build the home into a haven of delight."

"No career approaches in importance that of wife, homemaker, mother--cooking meals, washing dishes, making beds for one's precious husband and children. Come home, wives, to your husbands. Make home a heaven for them. Come home, wives, to your children, born and unborn. Wrap the motherly cloak about you and, unembarrassed, help in a major role to create the bodies for the immortal souls who anxiously await. When you have fully complemented your husband in home life and borne the children, growing up full of faith, integrity, responsibility, and goodness, then you have achieved your accomplishment supreme, without peer, and you will be the envy [of all] through time and eternity."

President McKay: 

"Motherhood is the greatest potential influence either for good or ill in human life."

"This ability and willingness to properly rear children, the gift to love, and eagerness, yes, longing to express it in soul development, make motherhood the noblest office of calling in the world."

"She who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters, whose influence will be felt through generations to come… deserves the highest honor that man can give, and the choicest blessing of God."

True Love

“True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well-being of one's companion.” -President Gordon B. Hinckley

I know that when we put aside our wants and needs and instead focus on our spouse's happiness, our marriages will become celestial!

Marital Intimacy

One of my Favorite talks given about intimacy is by Elder Holland and it is entitled "Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments." Here are some of the quotes that explain the meaning of marital intimacy.
Intimacy is a symbol of total unity. "Such an act of love between a man and a woman is-or certainly was ordained to be-a symbol of total union: union of their hearts, their hopes, their lives, their love, their family, their future, their everything. It is a symbol that we try to suggest in the temple with a word like seal." 
"But such a total, virtually unbreakable union, such an unyielding commitment between a man and a woman, can only come with the proximity and permanence afforded in a marriage covenant, with the union of all that they possess--their very hearts and minds, all their days and all their dreams." 
"And the external symbol of that union, the physical manifestation of what is a far deeper spiritual and metaphysical bonding, is the physical blending that is part of--indeed, a most beautiful and gratifying expression of--that larger, more complete union of eternal purpose and promise." 
"In this ultimate physical expression of one man and one woman they are as nearly and as literally 'one' as two separate physical bodies can ever be. It is in that act of ultimate physical intimacy we most nearly fulfill the commandment of the Lord given to Adam and Eve, living symbols for all married couples, when he invited them to cleave unto one another only, and thus become 'one flesh' (Genesis 2:24)." 
This is another quote that I love by Elder Packer from his talk, "The Fountain of Life."
"Participation in the mating process offers an experience like nothing else in life. When entered into worthily, it combines the most exquisite and exalted physical, emotional, and spiritual feelings associated with the word love. Those feelings and the lifelong need for one another bind a husband and wife together in a marriage wherein all of the attributes of adult masculinity are complemented by the priceless feminine virtues of womanhood."

Engagement!

The way a couple becomes engaged is very important, It will be a memory that the couple can look back on and gain strength in their current relationship. Here's somethings in an engagement that will help a marriage throughout its course...

• There should be a ring
• There has to be a day picked out for the wedding
• The proposal should be private, as to not put pressure on either person in the relationship
• The proposal should be special to the couple

If these things are done when the  couple becomes engaged, it will help the couple see the start of their committed relationship in a positive light.

I appreciate the time and preparation my husband took when he proposed to me. He had bought the most beautiful ring for me and took me to a beautiful place where he got down on one knee and asked if I would make him the luckiest man in the world. I said YES of course!

Before we went into his parents' house to tell them our exciting news, we picked May 10th 2014 to be the most important day of our lives.

During the engagement it can be easy for the focus to fall on planning the reception, luncheon, and honeymoon but there are more important things that should not be overlooked and that the real focus should be placed on as you prepare for an eternal marriage together. These include,

1. Preparing to enter the temple and make sacred covenants. The sacredness and importance of the covenants you will be making need to be at the highest priority as you prepare for your marriage.
2. Building a stronger relationship between the couple. They are going to become husband and wife and their focus should be on coming together as a new family.
3. Building relationships with in-laws. You're becoming a part of their family and this is a time to build good relationships with them.