Blended Families

Most children in the United States, 60%, will spend some of their life living with someone other than both of their biological parents. There are many families whose parents are separated because of divorce, death, or some other reason. Many people choose to remarry after these tragedies. This is a unique situation when two families come together to make a new family. There are some things the new parents can do to help establish this new family.

1. Be patient. Studies show that it takes at least two years to establish normalcy in a blended family. A blended family is different than a traditional family and it takes time for the members of the blended family to feel comfortable and normal in their new family.
2. The birth parent should be in charge of handling the heavy discipline of their birth children. When two families come together, they come with different rules and expectations. Their new parent needs to establish a warm healthy relationship with their new children before they can effectively discipline them.
3. The step-parent needs to build a good relationship with their new children. They need to be supportive, loving, and encouraging to them. They also should stand by their new spouse in their parenting of their birth children.
4. The couple needs to take time to counsel with one another. They need to make sure they are communicating with one another so they can rely on one another for support. The transitioning into a blended family is difficult and the best way to help children adjust is for the parents to build a strong relationship with one another.

The Refiner's Fire

This video is so inspiring! I know that our trials can make us stronger as we draw closer to the Lord and learn to rely on Him.

Having Children in Faith

I love this video! I look forward to having children with my husband someday!

Disciplining Children

My information comes from Michael Popkin's "Active Parenting"

Popkin uses 5 different steps for parents to use when they have a problem with their child's behavior.

1. Polite Request: ask your child, politely, to do something or stop doing something
2. "I" Message: this is when you explain how the problem is making you feel.
1. Start with "I have a problem with _____" - this helps the child know you are upset with the problem and not with them personally.
2. "I feel _____" - this shows the child how their actions are effecting others.
3. "Because _____" - this explains why you have a problem with their actions
4. "I would like you to _____" - this reaffirms what you would like the child to do to fix the problem.
3. Firm Reminder: if the problem persists, you may make a firm reminder of what you have already asked your child to do. Keep it short, simple, and respectful.
4. Logical Consequences: if nothing has worked, give the child a consequence for not doing what you have asked. This allows the child to choose to change their behavior and avoid the consequence or accept the consequence. 
1. either/or: puts a limit on the child's behavior, makes them stop doing something
2. when/then: two activities that would happen normally, but one must be done before the other
5. Use the FLAC method:
1. Feelings: Share your feelings about the problem and recognize your child's feelings as well. This develops a sense of empathy.
2. Limits: Lets your child know there are still limits on their behavior.
3. Alternatives: Find a solution that both of you can live with. If nothing is agreed upon, parent is in charge of making sure the consequence is fair and appropriate.
4. Consequences: Logical consequences that will follow if the problem isn't fixed. Follow up and make sure the problem is being solved.