Disciplining Children

My information comes from Michael Popkin's "Active Parenting"

Popkin uses 5 different steps for parents to use when they have a problem with their child's behavior.

1. Polite Request: ask your child, politely, to do something or stop doing something
2. "I" Message: this is when you explain how the problem is making you feel.
1. Start with "I have a problem with _____" - this helps the child know you are upset with the problem and not with them personally.
2. "I feel _____" - this shows the child how their actions are effecting others.
3. "Because _____" - this explains why you have a problem with their actions
4. "I would like you to _____" - this reaffirms what you would like the child to do to fix the problem.
3. Firm Reminder: if the problem persists, you may make a firm reminder of what you have already asked your child to do. Keep it short, simple, and respectful.
4. Logical Consequences: if nothing has worked, give the child a consequence for not doing what you have asked. This allows the child to choose to change their behavior and avoid the consequence or accept the consequence. 
1. either/or: puts a limit on the child's behavior, makes them stop doing something
2. when/then: two activities that would happen normally, but one must be done before the other
5. Use the FLAC method:
1. Feelings: Share your feelings about the problem and recognize your child's feelings as well. This develops a sense of empathy.
2. Limits: Lets your child know there are still limits on their behavior.
3. Alternatives: Find a solution that both of you can live with. If nothing is agreed upon, parent is in charge of making sure the consequence is fair and appropriate.
4. Consequences: Logical consequences that will follow if the problem isn't fixed. Follow up and make sure the problem is being solved.