Blended Families

Most children in the United States, 60%, will spend some of their life living with someone other than both of their biological parents. There are many families whose parents are separated because of divorce, death, or some other reason. Many people choose to remarry after these tragedies. This is a unique situation when two families come together to make a new family. There are some things the new parents can do to help establish this new family.

1. Be patient. Studies show that it takes at least two years to establish normalcy in a blended family. A blended family is different than a traditional family and it takes time for the members of the blended family to feel comfortable and normal in their new family.
2. The birth parent should be in charge of handling the heavy discipline of their birth children. When two families come together, they come with different rules and expectations. Their new parent needs to establish a warm healthy relationship with their new children before they can effectively discipline them.
3. The step-parent needs to build a good relationship with their new children. They need to be supportive, loving, and encouraging to them. They also should stand by their new spouse in their parenting of their birth children.
4. The couple needs to take time to counsel with one another. They need to make sure they are communicating with one another so they can rely on one another for support. The transitioning into a blended family is difficult and the best way to help children adjust is for the parents to build a strong relationship with one another.

Counseling with you Spouse and Families

In class this week we were able to study the way the Prophet, his counselors, and the 12 apostles meet in counsel each week. This is the process they use.

• First, they gather together before the meeting starts and express their love for each other
• Next, they open the meeting in prayer to invite the Spirit to be with them
• Then, they discuss important matters and try to discern what the Lord would have them do. During this discussion, each member is given the opportunity to share what they think the Lord would want. They continue to discuss until they reach a consensus, or every agrees that this is what the Lord wants. If consensus is not reached, they address the topic another time.
• After that, they close with prayer. 
• Before they leave they have refreshments together and again bond together.

There are some other important aspects to this meeting.

• They meet in the Temple: a very sacred place
• They always meet at the same time: they have regular meetings that allow everyone to plan their schedules to be there
• They have an agenda: everyone will be able to prepare for what is going to be discussed

This form of counseling that the Prophets follow is an example of what should take place in our homes. We should have regular meetings where members will feel loved in expressing what they think the Lord would have the family or couple do. In our families we should seek to find what the Lord would have us do, for his plan is always better than anything we can come up with. Inviting the Spirit through prayer will help us discern what the Lord would have us do. Meeting in our homes (a sacred place), at the same time, with an agenda, will allow everyone to be present having prepared before hand. I know that if we follow the example of the prophets, our families will be blessed with direction from our Heavenly Father.